This is about now as compared to ten years ago.
Now I have a job where I'm working six hours a day and I come home exhausted from it.
Ten years ago I had one full-time job and two part-time jobs and came home exhausted from them.
Now I walk to and from work, about a mile round-trip.
Ten years ago I walked to and from work, about a two mile round-trip. My full-time job was preceded by a two-mile walk on a morning paper route and followed by a four-mile walk on an afternoon paper route. The morning paper was seven days a week, the afternoon paper six days a week.
Now I'm overweight by about 40 pounds.
Ten years ago I was gaining weight even though I walked 8 miles most days. The weight gain wasn't becuz I was starting up walking; I'd been doing the four-mile route for three years. I believe it was a shift in my metabolism due to pre-menopause.
Now I'm recovering from three years of various injuries to my knees, ankles, and hips.
Ten years ago I would get up and walk away from a twisted ankle that resulted in a fall.
Now I know what a 'sedentary lifestyle' is.
Ten years ago I wasn't sure that I was 'active'.
Enough of compare/contrast. I've been writing mostly about physical ?symptoms?. I haven't written about the emotional storms that affected me. Ten years ago I was much stronger emotionally and spiritually than I am now. I am recovering my strength in those areas also.
1997 was a hell of a year. Accent on the 'hell' part.
*My son was sentenced to 50 years in prison.
*Lost my job of 17 years due to a plant closing.
*Started junior college fall of '97.
*My father died in December.
My son's imprisonment at 19 years of age was devastating to me. Followed six months later by the death of my beloved father... more than I could handle.
In April of 1998 my kids' paternal grandfather died; a man I'd known since I was 5 years old. In January of 1999 my stepfather died, 13 months after my father passed away. I was nowhere near recovering from my dad's death after a year. When my stepdad died I still felt as if it were yesterday that my dad had died.
On the advice of a trusted counselor I began taking Prozac. That was interesting, to say the least. I know that other anti-depressants have been developed since then and some are way more effective than Prozac. Safer, too. But Prozac did what I needed at the time, which was to give me some distance from the emotional pain.
My friend Pudgy was concerned about the changes Prozac made in my personality.
He said "I don't know who this person is in your body."
I replied "This is the person I need to be. Cuz this person doesn't hurt so much." He had been thru all the trauma and grief with me, my dear friend, and understood.
He told me "I like Janice. I'm sorry that she hurts so much." I said "Me, too." So we turned a tear-jerker into a bit of sarcasm and knew that all would be well.
I do not know how I managed to continue to go to school or do anything else. Certainly I felt paralyzed by grief. I guess years of doing what had to be done got me thru that time. While I did take Prozac for six months, thru all that time of grief and emotional pain I did not drink alcohol.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
One Cat
Pets can be almost as exciting as children. A mixture of pets guarantees a bit of excitement.
I've written about dogs previously, but we do have one cat. Go-Go is the cat's name and she is about six years old. She is a unique cat, in my experience, being an indoor/outdoor cat. Most of the spring and summer she will spend outdoors. She's got a cat village on the north side of the house among the ferns. I know it's truly winter when she wants to come into the house.
Coming into the house used to be a chancy thing for her; way too many dogs in here. A year ago in January we had four dogs. April of 2006 we had our beloved Lily euthanized; she had a cancer that had invaded her spine. June of 2006 our sweet Meekaleek was euthanized; she had a tumor on her liver. Thus our dog population was dramatically, and sadly, reduced.
Our Princessa, Lily, barely tolerated other dogs, let alone other species. As the alpha dog goes, so go the lesser dogs. With two dogs however, Go-Go is willing to take her chances. Some back-up from the humans helps, of course. In the past six months she's gotten reacquainted with the inside of the house. Enough so to have evolved a routine of sitting on MySpouse's lap while he reads his daily blogs.
Although we feed her, she continues to hunt. The Saturday before Easter she had a headless baby rabbit in front of the porch door. I said to MySpouse "Everybody bites the head off the bunny first." I was glad I hadn't eaten yet. When we returned from shopping the rabbit corpse was gone, thankfully.
Mostly Go-Go hunts and catches birds. A lot of starlings, I think. MySpouse says they are extremely stupid birds and dislikes them intensely. I've never encountered any brightly colored plumage in her leavings; no evidence of bluejays, cardinals, or flickers being the meal of the day.
This morning I saw her trotting down the walkway with a bundle of dull feathers in her mouth and promptly forgot what I'd seen. I came in from the backyard intending to pass thru the house to the front yard and do a flower walk. When I opened the front door the dogs burst out onto the porch, Go-Go jumped onto the chest freezer, and the bird flew into the house.
The bird bumbled about in the living room, then found it's way into the kitchen.
I put the dogs out in the backyard. Brought Go-Go into the kitchen and said "Find your prey and get it out of here." Then I took a cup of coffee to the backyard and said to the dogs "Deja vu, kids; I think we've done this before." I stayed outdoors long enough to drink my coffee, about 15 minutes.
Hopefully that was long enough for Go-Go to find her bird. Now all I have to do is figure out where in the house she may have taken the bird and put it outdoors. Before I bathe and get ready for work...
I've written about dogs previously, but we do have one cat. Go-Go is the cat's name and she is about six years old. She is a unique cat, in my experience, being an indoor/outdoor cat. Most of the spring and summer she will spend outdoors. She's got a cat village on the north side of the house among the ferns. I know it's truly winter when she wants to come into the house.
Coming into the house used to be a chancy thing for her; way too many dogs in here. A year ago in January we had four dogs. April of 2006 we had our beloved Lily euthanized; she had a cancer that had invaded her spine. June of 2006 our sweet Meekaleek was euthanized; she had a tumor on her liver. Thus our dog population was dramatically, and sadly, reduced.
Our Princessa, Lily, barely tolerated other dogs, let alone other species. As the alpha dog goes, so go the lesser dogs. With two dogs however, Go-Go is willing to take her chances. Some back-up from the humans helps, of course. In the past six months she's gotten reacquainted with the inside of the house. Enough so to have evolved a routine of sitting on MySpouse's lap while he reads his daily blogs.
Although we feed her, she continues to hunt. The Saturday before Easter she had a headless baby rabbit in front of the porch door. I said to MySpouse "Everybody bites the head off the bunny first." I was glad I hadn't eaten yet. When we returned from shopping the rabbit corpse was gone, thankfully.
Mostly Go-Go hunts and catches birds. A lot of starlings, I think. MySpouse says they are extremely stupid birds and dislikes them intensely. I've never encountered any brightly colored plumage in her leavings; no evidence of bluejays, cardinals, or flickers being the meal of the day.
This morning I saw her trotting down the walkway with a bundle of dull feathers in her mouth and promptly forgot what I'd seen. I came in from the backyard intending to pass thru the house to the front yard and do a flower walk. When I opened the front door the dogs burst out onto the porch, Go-Go jumped onto the chest freezer, and the bird flew into the house.
The bird bumbled about in the living room, then found it's way into the kitchen.
I put the dogs out in the backyard. Brought Go-Go into the kitchen and said "Find your prey and get it out of here." Then I took a cup of coffee to the backyard and said to the dogs "Deja vu, kids; I think we've done this before." I stayed outdoors long enough to drink my coffee, about 15 minutes.
Hopefully that was long enough for Go-Go to find her bird. Now all I have to do is figure out where in the house she may have taken the bird and put it outdoors. Before I bathe and get ready for work...
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Car Dogs Don't Make House Payments
It's wonderful to be married. Really.
It's wonderful to be married to someone that I have things in common with. Like sarcasm.
Was a long day for both of us. Ending with a trip to an auto salvage yard where a transmission will be installed in my car. I proposed that we eat at the Oriental buffet cuz I knew we were both too tired to cook at home.
Most often MySpouse strikes people as being very quiet. He is quiet with people he doesn't know well. I'm outgoing, outspoken; the social bumblebee of the two of us...opposites attract, let us not forget. We make a good couple, he and I.
We took a little detour on the way home so he could see in daylight where the city had cut down some trees. Admired the Canadian geese down along the creek. I wondered aloud if they're the same geese that were there last year when I was walking Meekaleek near the creek. I got to see the fuzzy goslings gather around their mama when we startled them with our presence last spring. I recall being surprised that Meekaleek, the inveterate water dog, didn't wade into the creek after them.
We talked a bit, stopped at that spot, then continued on to our home. Pulled into the driveway and I waited until MySpouse shut the truck off to point out a bird in the maple tree and ask "Does that look like a blue jay to you?"
He squinted up into the tree and replied "Yeah, I think I see a crest on it's head."
He rolled down his window to open the truck door on his side and I groaned.
"What? You in a hurry or something?"
"Oh, no, no hurry here." he replied, "I'm perfectly happy to sit in the truck in the driveway of our home."
"My feet hurt too much to move. Let's just sit here for a couple of minutes." I whined.
"Okay", he agreed.
"And by the way, thanks for running all over the county for me today. I'm so glad that you're such a good husband. I'm so glad you're my husband." I told him. I was tired enough to be a bit mushy.
"Well, I'm lucky to have such a good wife."
I retorted "Of course you're lucky. You've got a great wife. Pretty, smart, got a job or two, likes dogs...you are one lucky guy."
As I recited the list he nodded his head and said 'uh-huh, uh-huh'. I looked over at him as he continued to nod and say 'uh-huh' and saw a familiar rhythm to his nodding. I asked suspiciously, "Are you imitating a car dog?"
He replied "Nooooooo. Car dogs don't make house payments. I'm just agreeing with my lovely wife."
Yeah, we're married.
It's wonderful to be married to someone that I have things in common with. Like sarcasm.
Was a long day for both of us. Ending with a trip to an auto salvage yard where a transmission will be installed in my car. I proposed that we eat at the Oriental buffet cuz I knew we were both too tired to cook at home.
Most often MySpouse strikes people as being very quiet. He is quiet with people he doesn't know well. I'm outgoing, outspoken; the social bumblebee of the two of us...opposites attract, let us not forget. We make a good couple, he and I.
We took a little detour on the way home so he could see in daylight where the city had cut down some trees. Admired the Canadian geese down along the creek. I wondered aloud if they're the same geese that were there last year when I was walking Meekaleek near the creek. I got to see the fuzzy goslings gather around their mama when we startled them with our presence last spring. I recall being surprised that Meekaleek, the inveterate water dog, didn't wade into the creek after them.
We talked a bit, stopped at that spot, then continued on to our home. Pulled into the driveway and I waited until MySpouse shut the truck off to point out a bird in the maple tree and ask "Does that look like a blue jay to you?"
He squinted up into the tree and replied "Yeah, I think I see a crest on it's head."
He rolled down his window to open the truck door on his side and I groaned.
"What? You in a hurry or something?"
"Oh, no, no hurry here." he replied, "I'm perfectly happy to sit in the truck in the driveway of our home."
"My feet hurt too much to move. Let's just sit here for a couple of minutes." I whined.
"Okay", he agreed.
"And by the way, thanks for running all over the county for me today. I'm so glad that you're such a good husband. I'm so glad you're my husband." I told him. I was tired enough to be a bit mushy.
"Well, I'm lucky to have such a good wife."
I retorted "Of course you're lucky. You've got a great wife. Pretty, smart, got a job or two, likes dogs...you are one lucky guy."
As I recited the list he nodded his head and said 'uh-huh, uh-huh'. I looked over at him as he continued to nod and say 'uh-huh' and saw a familiar rhythm to his nodding. I asked suspiciously, "Are you imitating a car dog?"
He replied "Nooooooo. Car dogs don't make house payments. I'm just agreeing with my lovely wife."
Yeah, we're married.
Employment Anew
I will start my new job at 9:30 AM. I'm always a bit nervous at first, but not nearly so much as I used to be. I found an antidote to new-job nervousness several years ago. A change in attitude can make a world of difference. Instead of thinking 'New Job' , I started thinking of it as 'New Skills'.
To date, I have learned:
+ to iron shirts properly.
+ to water plants
+ to judge the age of picked sweet corn
+ to operate a slicer
+ to hang clothing properly
+ the importance of signage to a business
+ to make change properly (a lost art)
Today I'm looking forward to an orientation and paperwork and my first experience making ice cream cones. I expect to end the day sticky but happy.
Some things never change.
To date, I have learned:
+ to iron shirts properly.
+ to water plants
+ to judge the age of picked sweet corn
+ to operate a slicer
+ to hang clothing properly
+ the importance of signage to a business
+ to make change properly (a lost art)
Today I'm looking forward to an orientation and paperwork and my first experience making ice cream cones. I expect to end the day sticky but happy.
Some things never change.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Job Hunting: The Sequel
"The future's uncertain and the end is always near..."
That's a great line in a Doors' song but it's not what anyone wants to hear from an employer.
It prompted me to begin job hunting again. Apparently I'm getting better at stalking the elusive job; this time it only took three days.
Saying 'Goodbye' to a person I'd come to admire and respect, a fellow employee at the restaurant, I stopped into the local Daisy Quean to get an ice cream cake for the goodbye gathering. It was slack time in the afternoon, about 2:00 PM. The manager of Daisy Quean had time to chat so I told him what I knew about the restaurant across the street. At the end of our visiting he told me they were needing help, would I want to fill out an application?
He gave me an application on Saturday. I filled it out Monday morning and then walked to Daisy Quean to return it to him. Returning the application segued into an interview. All I could say about quitting the restaurant is that there's a reason rats desert a sinking ship. An interview turned into hiring. I start Thursday morning at 9:30 AM.
It's a big deal to me, having a job I can walk to. Transportation has been an issue for a couple of years and I'm ready to address it. We're going to replace the transmission in my car this next week. I hope that will get me another year's use of the car. Getting another vehicle is my goal financially.
I'll try to remember that when I'm looking at beads, books, and clothing.
That's a great line in a Doors' song but it's not what anyone wants to hear from an employer.
It prompted me to begin job hunting again. Apparently I'm getting better at stalking the elusive job; this time it only took three days.
Saying 'Goodbye' to a person I'd come to admire and respect, a fellow employee at the restaurant, I stopped into the local Daisy Quean to get an ice cream cake for the goodbye gathering. It was slack time in the afternoon, about 2:00 PM. The manager of Daisy Quean had time to chat so I told him what I knew about the restaurant across the street. At the end of our visiting he told me they were needing help, would I want to fill out an application?
He gave me an application on Saturday. I filled it out Monday morning and then walked to Daisy Quean to return it to him. Returning the application segued into an interview. All I could say about quitting the restaurant is that there's a reason rats desert a sinking ship. An interview turned into hiring. I start Thursday morning at 9:30 AM.
It's a big deal to me, having a job I can walk to. Transportation has been an issue for a couple of years and I'm ready to address it. We're going to replace the transmission in my car this next week. I hope that will get me another year's use of the car. Getting another vehicle is my goal financially.
I'll try to remember that when I'm looking at beads, books, and clothing.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Write Now
I was actually home when my son called. He's been calling at intervals for three weeks, trying to catch me home. With two part-time jobs my schedule was very erratic; difficult to say when I'd be available to take a call. He was able to catch MySpouse Monday evening and get some idea of what my schedule was running to. So Wednesday morning I was here to answer the phone and talk to my son.
It's not that we have exciting news to share with each other. My life is settled and semi-boring, his life is the same. Considering that he's in prison you would expect that. The thrill of a phone call from him is that we get to talk to each other.
I've written about my kids a bit. I've had issues with them, as most parents do with their children. Although we've had our differences, we do love each other. I don't always approve of their life choices but the point is that it is their life, not mine. When I was their age I'm sure I was still driving my mama nuts.
That was my mother's curse when we were teenagers: "I hope you have six kids just like you."
It's good that I had only two children. I have one child just like me.
Talking to my son, I told him about starting up a blog, that being most of the excitement in my life now. Prison is mostly about boring inmates to distraction; nothing about rehabilitation to it.
He asked that I post his address so that someone will write to him.
Here is my son's address:
Raymond N. Hinders
#1107975
Anamosa State Penitentiary
406 North High Street
P. O. Box 10
Anamosa, IA
52206-0010
Thank you in advance to anyone who writes to him.
It's not that we have exciting news to share with each other. My life is settled and semi-boring, his life is the same. Considering that he's in prison you would expect that. The thrill of a phone call from him is that we get to talk to each other.
I've written about my kids a bit. I've had issues with them, as most parents do with their children. Although we've had our differences, we do love each other. I don't always approve of their life choices but the point is that it is their life, not mine. When I was their age I'm sure I was still driving my mama nuts.
That was my mother's curse when we were teenagers: "I hope you have six kids just like you."
It's good that I had only two children. I have one child just like me.
Talking to my son, I told him about starting up a blog, that being most of the excitement in my life now. Prison is mostly about boring inmates to distraction; nothing about rehabilitation to it.
He asked that I post his address so that someone will write to him.
Here is my son's address:
Raymond N. Hinders
#1107975
Anamosa State Penitentiary
406 North High Street
P. O. Box 10
Anamosa, IA
52206-0010
Thank you in advance to anyone who writes to him.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Yes, I Inhaled
It's good that I'm not a politician. I can be honest about smoking marijuana. I did inhale, altho it took me a long time to learn how since I'd never smoked cigarettes. In my early to mid-20's I used half-a-dozen different drugs. None of them to the point of excess or abuse, except for alcohol.
When my kids were old enough to be talked to about drug use I had first-hand experience with the effects. I did drugs for the same reason that most people do: peer pressure. Many of the people that were my age were using drugs and I was curious. Some of the people I was acquainted with then were addicted to various drugs; observing them gave me knowledge to pass along to my kids.
Talking to my kids about drugs didn't stop them from using drugs, any more than talking to kids about sex keeps them from having sex. I did think it was important to let my kids know that experimenting with drugs wouldn't make monsters of them.
Talking to my kids about drugs didn't keep them from becoming addicted to drugs. My daughter smokes cigarettes. My son is in prison for acts he committed while under the influence of alcohol and crank.
I always feel some responsibility for my son's imprisonment. I didn't get sober until 1993 when my son was 15 years old. I believe his attitudes were less malleable, that my sobriety didn't make an impression on him. My daughter would have been 12 years old when I quit drinking and my sobriety did make an impression on her. I feel that if I had been a stronger influence on my son he wouldn't be in prison. Isn't guilt a wonderful thing?
Twenty years ago teenagers were far less likely to be taking prescription drugs than they are today. Kids today are pretty casual about swapping their prescription drugs with friends.
I wonder what they will say to their children about drug use?
When my kids were old enough to be talked to about drug use I had first-hand experience with the effects. I did drugs for the same reason that most people do: peer pressure. Many of the people that were my age were using drugs and I was curious. Some of the people I was acquainted with then were addicted to various drugs; observing them gave me knowledge to pass along to my kids.
Talking to my kids about drugs didn't stop them from using drugs, any more than talking to kids about sex keeps them from having sex. I did think it was important to let my kids know that experimenting with drugs wouldn't make monsters of them.
Talking to my kids about drugs didn't keep them from becoming addicted to drugs. My daughter smokes cigarettes. My son is in prison for acts he committed while under the influence of alcohol and crank.
I always feel some responsibility for my son's imprisonment. I didn't get sober until 1993 when my son was 15 years old. I believe his attitudes were less malleable, that my sobriety didn't make an impression on him. My daughter would have been 12 years old when I quit drinking and my sobriety did make an impression on her. I feel that if I had been a stronger influence on my son he wouldn't be in prison. Isn't guilt a wonderful thing?
Twenty years ago teenagers were far less likely to be taking prescription drugs than they are today. Kids today are pretty casual about swapping their prescription drugs with friends.
I wonder what they will say to their children about drug use?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)