It's tough to write when there's nothing doing in your brain. I'm not hosting any active resentments; those always prompt a torrent of words. Still working at Daisy Quean. Still married to MySpouse. So no excitement to do with job-hunting or spouse-hunting. Health is good, mental health in moderately good shape.
So I must be experiencing contentment.
I've heard that half of being grateful for what you've got is acknowledging what you've got. Perhaps part of gratitude at our age should be for what we don't have...children living at home, a load of laundry forgotten in the washer for three days, concern for other folks' opinions, a rodent's whisker for what people think of us. (Oops, rodent's whiskers will be in the next decade of our lives.) I'm thinking that gratitude leads to contentment, correct me if I'm wrong.
Anyway, I'm enjoying the lack of excitement, drama, negative emotions, and uncertainty.
The only cloud on my horizon is that I'm out of reading material; I'm reading something that I've read before. Monday that little cloud will be gone: I'll return books to the library and get different ones. And pay my overdue fines.
Yes, I could be content.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Tame Jungle
I have a palm tree. My husband bought it for me at Sam's Club about a week after Christmas. I call it my 'Christmas tree'.
At this point I have to express my astonishment at the buyer for Sam's Club ordering a pallet of palm trees during the first week of January in Iowa. I mean, it's cold here at that time of year. Hardly a hospitable environment for polar bears let alone palm trees. Maybe the buyer thought it would lessen the post-holiday letdown that some folks experience.
I was expecting the palm trees to be in very poor condition. Instead they looked quite healthy; evenly colored and producing new growth of fronds. I told MySpouse that I wanted one, today, while they were still healthy. Also, to get my money's worth from a plant purchase: 5-foot tall plant for $8.00 plus tax. An unusual purchase, to say the least.
Palm tree was purchased and we took some pains to wrap it up and protect it from the cold outside. Put it in the truck and wrapped it with a sleeping bag that was in the truck bed. Hustled right home and took it to the upstairs bathroom.
I found out last winter that the back porch is not a proper environment for large tropical plants. The soil in the pots gets too cold and roots start to rot. The upstairs bathroom is large enough to accommodate about three big plants and several smaller ones. Plenty of warmth and humidity and moderate light.
My 'Christmas tree' spent the summer outdoors in a spot that is shady all summer long. No direct sun until late afternoon. A good location for it since most houseplants are understory plants in their native environments. It has rewarded me with the growth of four new fronds.
I'm glad that it seems to be pacing itself and not growing as rampantly as a trumpet vine.
Getting on to mid-September, frost warnings on the weather site that we subscribe to, it's time to bring my tame jungle indoors. First the plants will be on the back porch for a couple weeks and then I'll take some of them to the upstairs bathroom. We'll all survive the winter in good condition, barring disasters.
With the plants in the upstairs bathroom I won't have to look at the horrible wallpaper that's in there.
At this point I have to express my astonishment at the buyer for Sam's Club ordering a pallet of palm trees during the first week of January in Iowa. I mean, it's cold here at that time of year. Hardly a hospitable environment for polar bears let alone palm trees. Maybe the buyer thought it would lessen the post-holiday letdown that some folks experience.
I was expecting the palm trees to be in very poor condition. Instead they looked quite healthy; evenly colored and producing new growth of fronds. I told MySpouse that I wanted one, today, while they were still healthy. Also, to get my money's worth from a plant purchase: 5-foot tall plant for $8.00 plus tax. An unusual purchase, to say the least.
Palm tree was purchased and we took some pains to wrap it up and protect it from the cold outside. Put it in the truck and wrapped it with a sleeping bag that was in the truck bed. Hustled right home and took it to the upstairs bathroom.
I found out last winter that the back porch is not a proper environment for large tropical plants. The soil in the pots gets too cold and roots start to rot. The upstairs bathroom is large enough to accommodate about three big plants and several smaller ones. Plenty of warmth and humidity and moderate light.
My 'Christmas tree' spent the summer outdoors in a spot that is shady all summer long. No direct sun until late afternoon. A good location for it since most houseplants are understory plants in their native environments. It has rewarded me with the growth of four new fronds.
I'm glad that it seems to be pacing itself and not growing as rampantly as a trumpet vine.
Getting on to mid-September, frost warnings on the weather site that we subscribe to, it's time to bring my tame jungle indoors. First the plants will be on the back porch for a couple weeks and then I'll take some of them to the upstairs bathroom. We'll all survive the winter in good condition, barring disasters.
With the plants in the upstairs bathroom I won't have to look at the horrible wallpaper that's in there.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Something New
I think I've finally attained the state of life that I've been seeking for years: dull and boring. I'm content to let other people experience excitement, drama, and adventure. Even so, there's a bit of backwash from other people's lives into mine...dead birds, loose dogs, stupid teens, and psychotic employers.
One of the things I've worked at for years is my penchant for being dramatic. I've worked at damping it down, that is. Still, it's as automatic as breathing for me, and so, difficult to monitor. With practice I've gotten better at muffling it; enough so to almost pass as a normie.
Years of attending AA meetings and some counseling on occasion have shown me that creating drama is an activity motivated by fear. Drama is a desire to attract attention; attracting attention is a way to deal with feeling insecure; 'insecurity' is just a longer name for fear. Fear is sneaky about how it manifests itself in one's life, but most often it is an activity with negative connotations. Promiscuity, hypochondria, and addictions are some of the common manifestations of fear.
Yes, we need to be somewhat fearful. I'm not willing to give up my freedom and my life to the first brigand that comes along. I do want to live with less fear in my life. I want to take fewer actions motivated by fear. Often I find myself trying to define where the boundary is between trust and gullibility. There is, I hope, a middle ground between the altruistic clouds and the paranoiac swamps.
My life is dull and boring on the surface. But here where I live is some small adventure in the search for the Land of Less Fear.
One of the things I've worked at for years is my penchant for being dramatic. I've worked at damping it down, that is. Still, it's as automatic as breathing for me, and so, difficult to monitor. With practice I've gotten better at muffling it; enough so to almost pass as a normie.
Years of attending AA meetings and some counseling on occasion have shown me that creating drama is an activity motivated by fear. Drama is a desire to attract attention; attracting attention is a way to deal with feeling insecure; 'insecurity' is just a longer name for fear. Fear is sneaky about how it manifests itself in one's life, but most often it is an activity with negative connotations. Promiscuity, hypochondria, and addictions are some of the common manifestations of fear.
Yes, we need to be somewhat fearful. I'm not willing to give up my freedom and my life to the first brigand that comes along. I do want to live with less fear in my life. I want to take fewer actions motivated by fear. Often I find myself trying to define where the boundary is between trust and gullibility. There is, I hope, a middle ground between the altruistic clouds and the paranoiac swamps.
My life is dull and boring on the surface. But here where I live is some small adventure in the search for the Land of Less Fear.
Rain on the Brain
Topic, schmopic....I'm going to go sit by the fire in the backyard and be entertained by my dogs.
My butt's going to sleep sitting here. C ya later.
My butt's going to sleep sitting here. C ya later.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Cockatiel's Corpse
When this request was first put to me, I thought "These people are absolutely whacked."
Certainly it was out of the ordinary.
"Can we bury our dead cockatiel in your yard? "
Whacked, I tell you. Seems so at first glance.
Extenuating circumstances exist: these folks have birds and cats and live in an apartment house. Where might they bury a beloved pet when they live in an apartment house?
One of the perks of making mortgage payments is that we do have a place to bury small pets that have died. Three kittens, a cat, and an opossum inhabit our 'Pet Sematary' . And now, a cockatiel. While it seemed an odd request (okay, it is odd); to let them bury their bird in our yard was actually a great kindness.
It cost me little to be kind to them. Five minutes to find a spade and dig a small hole. Five minutes more to share their grief at the loss of a pet. As a pet owner I realize that I am responsible for the life of a pet and at the end of a pet's years, responsible for their death.
Like many responsibilities, it is uneasily borne.
Certainly it was out of the ordinary.
"Can we bury our dead cockatiel in your yard? "
Whacked, I tell you. Seems so at first glance.
Extenuating circumstances exist: these folks have birds and cats and live in an apartment house. Where might they bury a beloved pet when they live in an apartment house?
One of the perks of making mortgage payments is that we do have a place to bury small pets that have died. Three kittens, a cat, and an opossum inhabit our 'Pet Sematary' . And now, a cockatiel. While it seemed an odd request (okay, it is odd); to let them bury their bird in our yard was actually a great kindness.
It cost me little to be kind to them. Five minutes to find a spade and dig a small hole. Five minutes more to share their grief at the loss of a pet. As a pet owner I realize that I am responsible for the life of a pet and at the end of a pet's years, responsible for their death.
Like many responsibilities, it is uneasily borne.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Stupid Teens
It's true. We've encountered a nest of stupid teenagers. Usually I'm willing to live and let live, but these kids' permit has expired.
This episode begins with a couple of teen boys in their first apartment. Teen boys, with other teen boys hanging out at their place. I have nothing against boys, per se; after all, I married one. But teen boys are quite something else.
One thing teen boys are good at is attracting teen girls. Unfortunately neither the boys nor the girls have the intelligence that God gave a green worm. These boys are too stupid to successfully steal a bicycle(a post for another day). The girls are given to making crank calls on their cell phones. Like the silly girl who called last nite...after we were in bed asleep...and had to be vicious with our answering machine.
These young people think they invented the word 'F***' (rhymes with duck). We know that's not true. Al Gore invented it shortly after he invented the Internet. The kids also think they invented sex, drugs, booze, and loud music... Oops; I believe my generation gets credit for that.
These teens haven't invented anything. Not even being a pain in the ass
This episode begins with a couple of teen boys in their first apartment. Teen boys, with other teen boys hanging out at their place. I have nothing against boys, per se; after all, I married one. But teen boys are quite something else.
One thing teen boys are good at is attracting teen girls. Unfortunately neither the boys nor the girls have the intelligence that God gave a green worm. These boys are too stupid to successfully steal a bicycle(a post for another day). The girls are given to making crank calls on their cell phones. Like the silly girl who called last nite...after we were in bed asleep...and had to be vicious with our answering machine.
These young people think they invented the word 'F***' (rhymes with duck). We know that's not true. Al Gore invented it shortly after he invented the Internet. The kids also think they invented sex, drugs, booze, and loud music... Oops; I believe my generation gets credit for that.
These teens haven't invented anything. Not even being a pain in the ass
Thursday, July 19, 2007
The Continuing Adventures of Daisy Fleabane
Daisy Fleabane sounds like the innocent heroine of an English murder mystery.
Daisy Fleabane is actually a member of the Aster family of plants. Erigeron strigosus or Erigeron annuus; look similar, grow under similar conditions. Like many plants that grow very well Daisy Fleabane is considered a weed. Me being kind of a casual gardener, when Daisy Fleabane showed up in one of my plantings I left her there to grow up and be pretty.
I've never tried using this plant for it's supposed 'flea-bane' properties. When it comes up in my plantings I'm inclined to leave it in place. Daisy fleabane attains the height of the taller asters,
2.5 - 3 feet, with the slender graceful stems of the taller asters, but without the least hint of clunkiness to the white blooms. I find it pleasant to see a plant whose blooms are in proportion to its leaves and stems.
About two years ago I had occasion to attend a funeral. There's not a lot of laughter at funerals generally, so I just smiled to myself and chuckled inside. In one of the flower arrangements the local florist had used daisy fleabane as filler instead of baby's-breath. I was amazed that there was someone else who appreciated the attributes of daisy fleabane besides myself. A bit of lightness in a dark day, as it were.
Daisy Fleabane is actually a member of the Aster family of plants. Erigeron strigosus or Erigeron annuus; look similar, grow under similar conditions. Like many plants that grow very well Daisy Fleabane is considered a weed. Me being kind of a casual gardener, when Daisy Fleabane showed up in one of my plantings I left her there to grow up and be pretty.
I've never tried using this plant for it's supposed 'flea-bane' properties. When it comes up in my plantings I'm inclined to leave it in place. Daisy fleabane attains the height of the taller asters,
2.5 - 3 feet, with the slender graceful stems of the taller asters, but without the least hint of clunkiness to the white blooms. I find it pleasant to see a plant whose blooms are in proportion to its leaves and stems.
About two years ago I had occasion to attend a funeral. There's not a lot of laughter at funerals generally, so I just smiled to myself and chuckled inside. In one of the flower arrangements the local florist had used daisy fleabane as filler instead of baby's-breath. I was amazed that there was someone else who appreciated the attributes of daisy fleabane besides myself. A bit of lightness in a dark day, as it were.
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