Pony-Tail Holders

Pony-tail holders...where do they go? The same place that socks disappear to, perhaps.

Our house has that same problem with socks that every one else has: they vanish from the dryer. Since my husband and I don't mingle our laundry I know that our missing socks have not slipped away to 'mate' under the couch. Nothing so sordid as that.

I suspect either extra-terrestrial aliens or a government conspiracy. Could be both; the evidence isn't conclusive. I'm betting that somewhere in the desert in New Mexico there is a mountain of socks. Actually, two mountains...one for whites, one for colors. That's your government at work, folks.

However, I believe the aliens are responsible for the disappearance of the pony-tail holders. I believe these aliens are disguising themselves as those four-footed canes that elderly people use instead of a walker. Be on the lookout for a four-footed cane wearing a snotwad of pony-tail holders on its slender body. Male aliens go for bright colors, females tend to wear pastels. And no white after Labor Day; they have adopted some Earth customs.

Perhaps a day will come when scientists will solve the puzzling dilemma of the disappearing pony-tail holders. The day may come too, when our government stops taking socks from innocent citizens and reveals what the socks are really used for.