Someone's Daughter

A 'normal' teenager can drive their parents nuts. It happened to me with my two kids; I'm sure it has happened to lots of other parents. My son ended up in prison before he had the chance to do some of the things that my daughter has done. I recently wrote a post where I expressed anger at some of the things my daughter did. Or, in some cases, didn't do.

Before my son's sentencing I was talking to my daughter about it, trying to convey the seriousness of his situation. She looked at me and said "Well, you won't have to worry about Nick giving you grandkids." I was too amazed at how she went from Point A to Point Z to protest. Instead of reprimanding her I went into the bathroom, shut the door, looked in the mirror and shook my head. Finally I laughed a little, saying to myself "I'll be damned." The world returned to normal then.

That happened ten years ago. I've not forgotten exactly what she said and I still shake my head over it.

As per the post on March 30, 2007 my daughter went through a time of extreme laziness. It was such a thorough abdication that I began to fear there was some mental illness at the
root of it. MySpouse has a niece who behaved like my daughter and testing found that the niece had a chemical imbalance. The niece can take meds for her problem.

I wasn't willing to let my daughter off the hook so easily. I remembered how lazy I was when I was in school. Teachers despaired of me. I was lazy; potential be damned.

Turns out my daughter's aversion to working at a job was mostly attitude and perception. She found a job that fits her like a designer gown. It's second shift hours - 2:00 PM to 10:00 PM. Those are the hours that she would slide around to if there were no pressure on her internal clock. She gets to be bossy; as the oldest female of her generation she's done a lot of babysitting over the years. This job as a security guard is perfect for her.

That's my daughter. I love her, but I'm not willing to let her bullshit me.

What concerns me here and now is someone else's daughter.

The young lady comes to visit me and brings her puppy that she was given as a
Christmas gift. My dog Lilac will play with the puppy, but my other dog, Jackson, growls and threatens the puppy. The solution to the problem is to leave Jackson in the house while Lilac and the rest of us go out to the backyard to socialize and play.

I'm writing about this so that I remember that coming here may help the young lady to heal. I'd never hold out my home as a bastion of sanity but it's not as harmful as some places a teenage girl could go. This past fall the young lady was in the grip of psychosis, having schizophrenic episodes, terrifying her parents. Their fear was for her. For her life and sanity.

They feared for their child just as every parent does. As I did for my daughter.

The young lady was hospitalized, tested for various things. Tests revealed a cyst in her brain that may have been the cause of the psychotic episodes. Or may not... Medications were tried in various doses until a balance was achieved that lets the young lady function reasonably well.

I try to remember to welcome the young lady when I truly have time. Try to remember not to feel put upon when she knocks on my door. I try to remember to be honest with her when I really don't have time to visit.

Her parents trust me with their daughter. They trust me not to harm her.