Limited Commitments

One of the first things I learned when I went to substance abuse treatment was not to beat up on myself. One of the ways to think more positively of yourself is to say "No."

And mean it.

Over-commitment, the bane of my existence... I learned that making too many commitments is a way that people sabotage what could be a good life. You feel like you're not doing enough, that you should do good deeds, so you take on a commitment or three. You're really too busy to fulfill the commitment or three, it doesn't get done, you feel guilty. You don't let yourself feel good about what you have been able to do becuz there are so many things that you haven't done.

You feel like you're not doing enough...

It's a cyclic, self-defeating thing, this over-commitment. If there is the least bit of doubt in your mind as to whether you can do something, say no. Stick to it. Complete the commitments you've recently made and then make no more. It's okay to say no. There are probably more important things in your life than baking 200 cupcakes.

When you're back to basics - job, kids, house, family, leisure, then take a look at where you want to devote the time that you (may) have. You'll find that when you say no and refuse a commitment that there is a bit of guilt. But that bit of guilt is negligible compared to the satisfaction of doing well in other areas of your life.

You'll be amazed at how good you can feel when you're not setting yourself up for failure. You've learned to treat yourself better, to avoid something negative and to enjoy something positive.